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elvenpirateladyOnce upon a time I got into the genderflipping business, and googled far too many people, and decided that however hard it would be to make a Silmarillion movie with any sort of coherent narrative it would be nice to have the groundwork in place, just in case? And I thought that it would be a pity if nobody else except my pictures folder saw this, so here it is. Special thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
minviendha for advising me about the troublesome Feanorians, because they apparently do not want to cast themselves, but at this point I think you can just add her name to all my crack and it will be accurate.
Presenting THE SILMARILLION: GENDERFLIPPED EDITION
So once upon a time there was a Queen of the Noldor named Finwe, who was married nine times - okay, twice, whatever, that's nine times to Elves. (Who also has the dubious distinction of starting this entire thing, since I was musing that Finwe is a genderless name and would not have to be changed, and went on from there.)
Her eldest daughter is Feanor - Julianna Marguilies
Who later married Nerdanel - Damian Lewis, a man who from the looks of it enjoys being a stay-at-home dad, which is lucky because they did in fact end up with seven daughters.
Maedhros - Alicia Witt
Maglor - Emma Hamilton
Caranthir - Charlotte Riley
Curufin - Eva Green
And finally, the twins:
This means, of course, that we are going to have to clone Karen Gillan in the name of accuracy, so the film itself may be delayed while we arrange schedules, resurrect Finwe, and advance cloning technology by several decades. Feanor's step-sisters and their children will get another post, and the main players on the Sindar side of things. Stay tuned!
minviendha for advising me about the troublesome Feanorians, because they apparently do not want to cast themselves, but at this point I think you can just add her name to all my crack and it will be accurate.Presenting THE SILMARILLION: GENDERFLIPPED EDITION
Finwe - Elizabeth Taylor
So once upon a time there was a Queen of the Noldor named Finwe, who was married nine times - okay, twice, whatever, that's nine times to Elves. (Who also has the dubious distinction of starting this entire thing, since I was musing that Finwe is a genderless name and would not have to be changed, and went on from there.)
Her eldest daughter is Feanor - Julianna Marguilies
Who later married Nerdanel - Damian Lewis, a man who from the looks of it enjoys being a stay-at-home dad, which is lucky because they did in fact end up with seven daughters.
Maedhros - Alicia Witt
Maglor - Emma Hamilton
Celegorm - Delphine Chaneac
Caranthir - Charlotte Riley
Curufin - Eva Green
and her daughter Celembrimbor - Katie McGrath
And finally, the twins:
Ambarussa - Karen Gillan
Ambarto - Karen Gillan
This means, of course, that we are going to have to clone Karen Gillan in the name of accuracy, so the film itself may be delayed while we arrange schedules, resurrect Finwe, and advance cloning technology by several decades. Feanor's step-sisters and their children will get another post, and the main players on the Sindar side of things. Stay tuned!
