elvenpiratelady | Work-related silliness

Everyone knows the story of the man who used his pregnant girlfriend's doctor's certificate as a reason for being late to work, don't we? Anyway, I found some wonderful excuses for being late to work and thought it would amuse. Now I really want a job so I can use one of these ~~when~~ in the event that I'm late:

- I dreamed that I was fired, so I didn't bother to get out of bed.

- I had to take my cat to the dentist.

- I went all the way to the office and realized I was still in my pajamas and had to go home to change.

- I saw that you weren't in the office, so I went out looking for you.

- I couldn't find the right tie, so I had to wait for the stores to open so I could buy one.

- My son tried to flush our ferret down the toilet and I needed to tend to the ferret.

- I ran over a goat.

- I stopped for a bagel sandwich, the store was robbed and the police required everyone to stay for questioning.

- A bee flew in my car and attacked me and I had to pull over.

- I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.

- My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.

- I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.

- I forgot to come back to work after lunch.

- I couldn’t find my shoes.

- A hitman was looking for me.

- My cat unplugged my alarm clock.

- I eloped.

- I had to ship my grandmother’s bones to India. (note: she had passed away 20 years ago)

*Looks at calendar* NaNoWriMoers, it's nearly time to finish. I've noticed a few 'winner' banners in entries, congrats to you and good luck to everyone else in finishing. According to the clock on lj, you have 7 hours and 43 minutes to finish. Good luck.