It was awesome and wonderful and hilarious and... and... and... *gibbers*. Best. Musical. EVER. More coherence later.


Here's a Howard, there's a Howard,
And another little Howard
Fuzzy Howard, funny Howard,
Howard, Howard, Rudd!


And here's a little snippet of fic I'm working on, which features Beruthiel of all people. My muses are so unfocused, they sprawl everywhere.

Osgiliath under a bright summer sun was quite an agreeable place, Berúthiel concluded. It was not as warm as Umbar, but like the city of her birth it was a trade centre, and while the wares were not as exotic the marketplaces helped to curb her homesickness. It was, in any case, preferable to Pelargir, which stank of fish, salt and fresh-cut wood, and seemed to her to be permanently grey and foggy whatever the weather elsewhere. As an added bonus, Osgiliath did not, at the present time, contain her husband.

A romantic tradition in Umbar said that the men and women of that city had fire in their veins. If that were true, Berúthiel thought scornfully, Gondorian blood would be muddy salt water. These people had little wit and no sense of adventure.
Guys, if I ever make an archaeology/classics playlist (and I totally will one day), this will definitely be on it. Along with Walk Like An Egyptian.
There are Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts and at the PPC, so I thought Tolkien needed some too. Suggest more things in the comments!

 This is what happens when you have a spare friday night (well, it happened two fridays ago, but let's not split hairs), a love of Doctor Who, and ready access to your brother's old Lego collection. And you also have an innate need to document this by pictures.

Presenting... Lego Who!

From left to right: Lego!Jack, Lego!Doctor and Lego!Martha, ready to save the world - at least the bits of it that are Lego.

I have been sketching our fruitbowl! Pics are under the cut because they're quite large.

At this rate, I might even start doing fanart again one day...

Well, this is what happens when you have errant muses and an impending exam for Ancient Greek and Roman Culture. The exam was tolerable, and the fic almost wrote itself. I seem to do humour better. Apart from uni subjects, the thing that inspired me was Greywing's hilarious fic Mistaken Identities - go and read it.

Title: Mythic Grandeur
Disclaimer: Tolkien owns the Valar, Greek mythology belongs to the Greeks, and the crack belongs to me.
Summary: The Valar have different reactions to the latest collection of tales about them to come out of Middle-earth...


Seen on a desk at uni today:



And also:

Corn have ears.

Potatoes have eyes.



That almost made misreading the timetable and turning up an hour early worthwhile.
Perhaps it's not so topical any more, but I've decided that I really want a transformer iPod. His name is Bob right now, but I imagine that his Autobot name would be Trax or something punnish like that. He'd follow me around on little legs, and communicate via song titles. He could grab whatever song we wanted from the internet. Admittedly, he'd probably be off saving the world at least twice a week, but it would be worth it.

Then again, when I consider the following, I'm beginning to think that he is a transformer, and he just hasn't told me yet.

On the bus home a couple of weeks ago, and it was raining - and then it turned into a monsoonal sort of rain. And then it started hailing. It only lasted a couple of minutes, but it looked like it had snowed. While I was watching this quite happily, because I like storms, Bob (who was on shuffle), who apparently has a fine sense of irony, started playing 'Turn Up The Sun'. I was amused.

Now I want to write fic where the Daleks arrive on Earth to take over the planet, only to find that the iPods have done so already. Back, muses, back! *Beats off muses with a stick/actual homework, whatever works.*
This, along with a t-shirt I saw with 'Gneiss cleavage', has convinced me that geology = rock porn.

Geology in real life is when you're with friends and you somehow get to talking about making things overflow in the microwave (porridge, cocoa, etc). (On a related note, I'm sure there's a scientific explanation for it, but I know that the porridge is in fact an alien force from outer space, intent on destroying the world. For reasons I can't quite fathom, it can only move around and not get detected when it's in the microwave. Some people see porridge spilling over the bowl and think of how they've got to clean it. Me, I see the alien sludge creeping back into the bowl once I open the microwave door, its plans foiled, and I go about my day happy in the knowledge that I have saved the world through eating breakfast once again.)

Back to our scheduled program... we're talking about things in microwaves, and someone makes a comment about the stuff overflowing, 'like a Vesuvius'.

What, then, does it say about your nerd level when you think for a moment, then say 'actually, it's not really like Vesuvius, because Vesuvius has thick lava and it's much more explose. This would be more like a shield volcano, since it has much runnier lava.'

I do love science. :D
*sigh* Bodies can be so overdramatic sometimes.

EL: *picks up a stack of plates that have just come out of the dishwasher* Hmm, that's quite warm.


EL'S FINGERS: We agree.

EL: No, I really think that-

BRAIN and FINGERS: MAJORITY VOTE! You are putting the plates down! Right now!

EL: Bloody majority-ruled democracy. I hate the Athenians. *stomps off*

[End scene.]


Thoughts on Deathly Hallows come later, when I can say something more coherent that 'ZOMG', 'SQUEE' and 'Oh man, fandom's really going to go batshit over that...'

In the meantime, I offer related humour:

The Top Ten Words That Should End Harry Potter 7

Top Ten Least Likely Endings to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

A parody of the movie Order of the Phoenix - I laughed so hard that I scared the cats. Maybe I was high from finishing DH, but still.
Cross-posted to [profile] fanfic_realm, [profile] humor_realm and [community profile] silwritersguild.

Title: The Darkening of Valinor
Author: Me!
Rating: Teens
Warnings: Teens for very slight swearing, and general irreverence. Fëanor would probably approve.
Genre: Humour
Word count: 1844
Summary: Yavanna is distraught, Manwë has a headache, Fëanor tries to fix things and Vána has a speaking part. A slightly different story of how the Two Trees were destroyed, and why the Noldor left Valinor.
AN: Disclaimer - I own no characters mentioned. Even Fëanor did the whole 'irreverence for the gods' thing first. Sadly, I couldn't find a way to mention Nerdanel, but hey, you get Vana instead.

The really depressing thing is that I could probably find fics with these plots. 0_o

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is:
Harry gets pregnant by Salazar Slytherin because J K Rowling got bored
Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is:
Hermione Granger is killed by the zombie Albus Dumbledore in the study, with the lead piping
Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is:
Ginny Weasley turns into a giant spider in the Chamber of Secrets
Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is:
Remus Lupin is arrested for selling Ritalin to the younger pupils and rids the world of Daleks
Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is:
Harry Potter becomes a hermit recluse after appearing in a photo shoot for Vogue
Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is:
J K Rowling is killed by Lucius Malfoy in the Forbidden Forest
Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

(Now that's an ending I'd like to see. :P)
Firstly - exams. Finally. Over. My thoughts?

Geoscience - "Yeah, I did IB Geography, Higher Level. I'll be fine."
Stats - OMG. *ded*
Classical Studies - You sweet little thing, I love you. Really.
Archaeology - "Okay, so there's Egypt and Babylon and pharaohs and mummies and Mycenaens and Nefertiti and - oh crud, was Ur the capital of Akkad? Did Jericho have a wall and a tower? I'll just write really general points and hope for the best."

And now, I present... Moments in the Life of El!



I cleaned the keyboard. With a blob of bluetack. At 12.30am on Friday night.

I think this says a lot. I don't know what it says, but whatever it's saying, there's a large quantity of it.



I found a bottle of baby oil in the bathroom. A full bottle. Of baby oil.

So my brain went places that I really didn't want it to go, and concluded that someone in the house is either expecting to get some or has a bottle of baby oil 'just in case'. I didn't buy it (unless I've been sleepshopping again...) so that leaves father or brother. I honestly don't know which scares me more.

Then again, it might just be the Baby Oil Gnomes who have randomly given us this gift.



The scene: Sunday night, somehow the discussion has turned to politics. Mother has just made a comment about Costello and Howard...

BROTHER: It's like Costello is Kiff, and Howard is Zap Brannigan.

ME: *brain go smoogly* YOU BASTARD!


ME: You just put the image of Howard dressed as Zap Brannigan in my head, and no amount of bleach is going to erase it. You owe me a new brain.



Wake up at 7.30. Go back to sleep. Wake up at midday. Go downstairs, make tea. Remove cat from vent on which clothes are meant to be drying. Make breakfast. Watch 3.5 episodes of Star Trek: TOS with brother. Remove cat from vent. Eat sausage roll. Begin watching The Three Amigos. Remove cat from vent. Go on computer. Eat dinner. Remove cat from vent. Watch first ten minutes of Torchwood and tape the rest. Remove cat from vent. Go to bed.


And finally, this afternoon...

EL: Returns from exams, has tasty pastie for lunch, begins doing crossword.

CAT: Love me?

EL: Oh, fine.

CAT: *jump* *mooch* Loooooooove you.

EL: Yes, dear, I love you too. Plz to be sitting down now.

CAT: *sit*

EL: *leans forward slightly to resume crossword*

CAT: ARGH the world is capsizing OH THANK GOD they've brought lifeboats.

EL: ARGH get your claws off sensitive female areas!

CAT: Fine. *sulk*

EL: *leans forward again*

*repeat scene*

CAT: Meh, bored now.

EL: *glare* If I have to explain why my cleavage has claw marks, it will be ALL YOUR FAULT.
ZOMG, how do I love [community profile] metaquotes? Let me count the ways... I have been screaming with laughter for almost every post, and have been reduced to tears at least twice.

I've found a new way to get crack. :D

*goes off to read more*
Things I Learnt:

Uno: All you really need to know about Revenge of the Sith is that Anakin gets his legs burnt off by lava. Everything else is just decoration.

Duo: Chunks of mango and icecream, when blended together, make an interesting and quite delicious desert.

Tre: I read far too much of the Appendices in LOTR.

Quatro: If you have a warm, thick coat and shoes that don't let in water, you can survive anything that winter throws at you.

Cinque: I need to watch more Spongebob Squarepants.

Se: I am VERY excited, because I get the first eps of Torchwood and season three of Doctor Who in one week. *celebration*

Sette: I'm knitting a scarf for winter, and so far it has eleven colours. It's about 30cm long right now, so I need to knit fast if I'm going to wear it this winter.

Otto: GEELONG FTW! (Aussie rules football, before you ask.)

Nuovo: I have two exams this week. *nervous* Classical Studies should be fine, but as for Statistics... as long as I pass, I'll be happy.

Dieci: This post is seriously testing my knowledge of Italian numbers, let alone how to spell them...

Undieci: Everyone should see a performance by Cirque du Soleil at least once. We went to see Varekai last night, and I swear, I never knew that humans could bend that way. The costumes were amazing, the music was sensational, and the performers themselves must be made of rubber. I really want to play on the flying trapeze ropes, too.

Duodeci: I should listen to more radio. The songs on my Ipod are starting to sound very familiar.

Tredeci: I really need to write down all the drabbles and fic ideas in my head before I forget them/my brain can't think of anything else.

Quatordeci: I want to start drawing again. I have ideas for silly fanart.

Quindeci: If I could pick a way to die, it would be from an overload of chibiness.

There, that's enough random blathering for now. :D

(Yeah, that kinda meandered from the original 'what I learnt' theme. Such is life. :D)
English exam = evil and completely fudged, in retrospect

Art "exam" = pointless evil

Maths exam paper one = evil

Maths exam paper two = slightly less evil

Geography exams 1 and 2 = meh evil

French exam one = ergh. evil

French exam two = evil in a fun way as I got to write about a green alien with four legs whose ship runs on carrots. And I pulled it off. In French. *dances* (Yes, I had way too much fun with that exam. Not sure what Madame H will think of it.)

Physics exam (tomorrow) = utter end of the universe as we know it evil

Cedric Diggory is Very, Very Gay = much love and snerkage

ALL of [ profile] misscam's Doctor Who fics = love love lovity lovity LOVE. MORE!



May 2012



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